One of Those Things People Don't Talk About
Finding Purpose in Our Pain
There are many things in our lives that make us to want to shake our fist at God and say: “Why me?”. It could be anything from a life transition to a devastating loss that can cause us to question God and our purpose on this earth. All of us have experienced pain at some point in our lives and we can sometimes wear that pain as a badge of honor that reminds us we are sinful humans living in a broken world. The badge I wear is one of those things people don’t talk about: miscarriage.
When my miscarriage happened, my heart was completely broken into so many pieces that I thought it would never be whole again. The physical and emotional pain I felt when I lost my baby was nothing short of indescribable anguish. I felt sheer terror and was so scared that I would spiral into a darkness like I had never known before. To my surprise, that darkness never came, instead I found a deeper understanding of the purpose in pain.
When I was recovering, I prayed and cried and prayed some more. I asked God to keep me from losing my faith, not just in Him, but in everything. I was very tempted to isolate myself and withdraw from the world completely. I had done it many times before. Why should this one be different? But, I knew deep down that I couldn’t do it alone.
I felt a nudge from God urging me to reach out to others for help so that’s what I did. I found a support group of women who had experienced pregnancy loss and reached out to friends who had experienced miscarriages as well. I was shocked, comforted, and relieved to know that I wasn’t alone in this pain. All of the sudden, I felt more connected to people, to God and to the world than I was before I had my miscarriage. The outpouring of love and support from friends and family was incredible. To have people love you so hard and remind you of God’s promises and that there was purpose in your pain was exactly what I needed.
A week after the miscarriage, I felt stronger than I had before it happened. I thought to myself “How amazing is it that we as human beings can move forward from pain with the strength of God?”. I could feel God whispering to me in thoughtful moments saying, “See Mae, you will help others too, don’t underestimate the deeper purpose for your pain”. This reminded me that one of God’s many promises is that we will experience pain in the world. But he will be there to provide us the strength to get through it.
God also calls us to be in Christian community so we will have support and guidance through dark times. The beauty and purpose in my pain is that now I can help others going through the same trials as I have experienced. I can remind them that when we are weak God is strong, and our community of faithful friends will always help us through.
1. What painful experiences have you been through? What ways can you use that painful experience to help others walking the same journey?
2. How can you draw strength from God as you work to see the purpose in your pain?
3. Do you have a community that can support you? If not, what is standing in your way of finding your tribe of faithful friends to help in times of need? Reach out to Created Woman to join us!
Two are better than one, because they have good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV)
That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10 NIV)
Mae Grant
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