Hand in Hand

How Hearing and Helping Produces Healthy Healing

She passed away on a Wednesday.

I was taking my students to meet their parents at the pick-up area when I heard, “Mrs. Marino to the front office,” which isn’t normal. My heart instantly sank into my stomach and every crazy scenario possible started playing in my mind like a reel of scary movies. As I rounded the corner, I saw my husband standing there. I saw the look on his face, and I knew. I knew that the reel of scary movies that just played in my mind was about to really be real.

It was my mom. My sweet, sweet momma. She had a blood clot in her lung. It was sudden, surreal, and for lack of a better word, sickening. Most of my adult life I have used the phrase “walking around in a fog” but until that moment I had no idea what it truly meant. It just overtakes you. Grief, that is. It wraps its arms around you, squeezes you, blurs your vision, and makes you temporarily lose your mind.

My sisters and I were on autopilot. People came in and out. We stood. We hugged. We shook hands and nodded our heads. We sat. We stared. We smiled. We cried. I can honestly say we were not really functioning. However, in those moments of all-consuming, crippling grief there was true beauty surrounding us. In those moments my sisters and I began our healing process through the hands and hearts of others. Seemingly small contributions by people from our past and present changed us from the inside out. They opened our eyes and hearts to what being the hands and feet of Jesus truly means.

People brought food. Maybe that doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it was the biggest deal to us. They brought things like coffee and spoons and gumbo and snacks for our kids. They came and cleaned. They brought firewood. They brought Blue Bell ice cream. They did everything that we couldn’t think to do. They came and laughed and cried, and sometimes just sat in silence with us. The best part about everything that everyone did was that we never had to ask. They just knew, so they just did.

I’m gonna be straight up honest with y’all – before my mom passed away, I didn’t do all the things. I didn’t take the food. I didn’t go and sit, and I didn’t go help clean. Most of the time I didn’t even go to the visitations. I was selfish. I didn’t have time. Death makes me uncomfortable. I felt awkward. I was great at finding any reason to not do anything.

However, now I know. Although I wish more than anything in the world that I could have my sweet momma back, I am thankful for what this situation has taught me. It has taught me I have the power to help other people heal. Whether it be a lost loved one, a lost marriage, an empty nest, or lost dreams, you and I can be the hands and feet – and the heart- of Jesus. Philippians 2:4 urges us not to be selfish. It urges us to be selfless. My mother’s passing has shown me the power that God has placed within each and every one of us. It has shown me how helping hands and hearing hearts can help others heal.

Dear Created Woman, God has placed within you the power to help others in their healing process. Don’t be selfish like the old Daisy. Instead, step out and show up. It’s not just a green bean casserole. It’s a catalyst of hope and love that feeds the soul.