The THIN line: Between loving & hating my body
Prior to starting my online store for curvy sizes, themoxiefox.com, my life was consumed with long days spent counseling with women who needed to lose between 15 and 150 lbs. I was coach, counselor and friend to hundreds of women seeking to lose weight and gain “their life” back. It was more than a job, it was a mission. Helping women lose weight was the end game, but I knew that on the journey, they could gain health, confidence and what I called “physical freedom”, to do things their weight may have prevented them from.
As stand-alone objectives, these things are purely positive. The truth however, is that as women, these objectives almost never stand alone. After years of helping women crack the code to their weight, I now know that only when we learn the combination to what’s locked inside our soul, will we ever be satisfied with the body that contains it.
Part of client intake was asking a woman what kinds of thoughts she had about her body and her weight. I learned to brace myself for what was to come, because it jarred me to hear the self-slaughter I knew would ensue. “I am disgusted when I look in the mirror.” “I can see why my husband won’t touch me”. “I know I’m ugly”. “I feel like a complete failure”. “I hate my reflection”. “I refuse to buy clothes for this fat body”.
It was routine to hear a woman say that she could no longer stand the sight of herself. Even if she still put on makeup and fixed her hair to look groomed, she had somehow learned to ignore the person she loathed to see. Her self-punishing behaviors; accepting neglect, dressing poorly, refusing to look at her reflection and mentally assaulting herself, were the evidence that she believed she was “bad”.
Sound extreme? Consider this cycle: 50% of commercials directed towards women mention physical attractiveness and those actresses never look like the “average” woman. Women experience an average of 13 negative thoughts about their body daily and 97% of women admit to having at least 1 “I hate my body” moment each day. Is it any wonder that 24 million people suffer from an eating disorder – in the US alone?
After years of coaching women through weight loss, I had a profound aha moment. I was stopped dead in my tracks, with a “still small voice”. I heard the question…”isn’t it healthy for a woman to love her body, just as it is?”
At that point, I’d spent 15 years passionately pursuing “healthy” living and trying to share what I knew with others. Hearing “the voice” put me at a crossroads. In part, because I needed the truth myself. I hadn’t allowed myself to accept any changes in my body gracefully and my own “I hate my body” moments were increasing daily. In my moment of clarity, I became hyper aware that my body dissatisfaction, was a slippery slope. It was a “thin” line between love and hate. “I love myself, so I want to be at my best” followed by “I hate my jiggly thighs”, sent a conflicting message to my heart. The proof was how un-lovely I was starting to feel.
I had trusted in God’s love and purpose for me for 20 years and yet the error in my thinking toward my body had escaped me. I needed God’s nudge to remind me that being thin, in this very temporary body, did not equal being whole in His book. In fact it was an overemphasized priority.
I was reminded that He made us 2 parts “unseen”, soul and spirit and only 1 part “seen”. Thank God, because what of aging? What of physical scars? What of cellulite? At what point do we allow our outer to be loved, despite how it changes?
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
When a woman’s heart is healthy and her spirit is strong, she is primed for the balanced expression of physical health. For some women, that will mean a size 8. For others, 18. What is much more important to measure, is “losing the weight” of disparaging thoughts within.
To be truly healthy, a woman must first be emotionally/mentally and spiritually “fit”. The unhealthy voice that says “I hate my body”, has to be silenced. Not 20 lbs. from now. Today. The truths that “I am deeply valuable at every size; I am worthy of love; My “beauty” is my heart and I love this body because it’s hand stitched by my creator” must be nurtured daily so that regardless of what a scale says, our hearts will say “I’m just right”.
Out of the knowledge of being “enough” comes the courage, love and confidence to walk out our dreams, accept love and reflect our deepest beauty to a world that needs us…in every color, shape and size.
Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful my love… there is no flaw in you”
[title subtitle="Guest Contributor: Christina White"][/title]
Based in Austin, Tx, The Moxie Fox has been born out of what owner, Christiana White believes is necessity. Having owned and managed weight loss clinics and ultimately working in the image industry for 7 years, she was impacted by the constant struggle of beautiful women over size 16 to find attractive, quality clothing. "When 36% of women are classified as "plus size" and only 15% of fashion made for them, it sends the wrong message and I want that message to change". -Christiana White
The name, "The Moxie Fox", is a tribute to all brave and beautiful women and we are determined to bring women who have been under served in the fashion world, beautiful options they can wear for years. We look to classic design elements as the foundation for the clothing lines we choose. For the woman that shops The Moxie Fox, this means she can expect clothing with detail in design, classic feminine lines, and timeless patterns. We carefully select perfect pieces from both trusted designers and up and comers we know you'll love. Every woman needs lovely cornerstones for her wardrobe, so that she can easily dress for any occasion with confidence and class.
Website: TheMoxieFox
