Bad Girl!

How Past Hurts May Be Driving Current Reactions

There’s a scene in the movie Hancock where Charlize Theron’s character (a supernatural all-powerful god-like woman) looks at Will Smith and says, “Call me crazy ONE MORE TIME.” Apparently, the kryptonite for a goddess is being called a silly name that rings a little too true. She comes completely undone and destroys a city with her laser-eyes… why? Because someone disrespected her about an issue she struggles with.

I can’t identify at all. Ahem.

I believe the things that trigger our biggest reactions and engage our less-than-stellar coping mechanisms are arrows pointing to the things we need to get healed from.

What things in this current climate are triggering emotional responses from you? From how we feel about masks to how the country is being run, we have big issues staring us down. Yet, it’s likely not the big issues really tripping us up. It’s the little things that we have control over, and we have to make decisions about, that are opening up heart issues we had long before Covid and Capitol Crisis.

For example, I fight the urge to correct people in the grocery store, or online, doing things differently than I. This is likely futile, and in the wrong context for a thoughtful exchange of ideals that will result in deeper understanding or changes in behavior. Why, then, is it so hard to resist? Why must I be recognized as wiser and “in the right” in order to have peace?

Everyone wants to feel seen, affirmed, and secure. Having another person vehemently disagree with anything you believe can shake you at your core, causing scabbed-over wounds to reopen. Wounds that came from past situations where you were powerless, forgotten, passed-over, or traumatized will re-surface in whatever coping mechanism you formed to deal with them. Those may be shutting down, becoming childish, jumping into fights, fawning, accusing, or other behaviors that result in feeling ashamed, restless, or exhausted.

If you feel compelled to act a certain way, and not entirely able to control it… woman, you need healing.

Healing is something God does when you identify and surrender things you are powerless to control. Embarrassing or hurtful episodes can usher in God’s grace if you surrender them immediately to His hands, and confess it is beyond your control. The Holy Spirit has many gifts, among them self-control. Supernatural self-control will enable you to posture yourself in a place of listening and receiving from people you disagree with, opening the door to the unity God requires from the members of His body.

Here’s a gauge of whether your reactions are resulting from wounds or from God: your main concern is that unity is the focus of your actions, and you are secure in your love for them no matter their response.

If you are not there yet, pause and ask God to reveal any wounds that surface through behaviors, and give them to Him.

Because none of us has the option of burning down the city with laser eyes no matter how appealing that might seem.

Reflection

What have been your negative gut responses to situations this year? Ask the Lord to remind you.
Where do these gut responses stem from? Ask the Lord to give you grace to uncover them.
What would you feel like if you were freed from negative reactions? What would you be able to do?

Goals

Journaling is an incredibly healing tool. Here is a prompt to get you thinking: When do you first remember feeling powerless or unseen? How old were you? Who was there? Where were you? What exactly happened?

Behold, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. (Jeremiah 33:6 NIV)