Uncomfortable
I am a goal setter. I love a New Year and the opportunity to set new goals (not that I will accomplish them) I just like the idea of starting with a blank slate. I loved the idea of having one word for the year like Crystal Breaux talked about here.
I’ve done this for a couple of years now and I was super stoked to hear from the Lord what this year’s word would be. I was hoping for “joy” “flourish” “blessed” or something really pretty I could easily find written on a bracelet or mug.
You know what word God gave me for 2018?
UNCOMFORTABLE.
WHAT? Ok, really funny God, what is it for real? Nope, that is seriously the word He gave me. This doesn’t exactly shoot feelings of excitement and anticipation through my bones, but rather hesitation and fear.
As I was asking God about this He began to unveil some things I have grown accustomed to and this year He explained how it’s time to get uncomfortable and let those things go, lay things down and pick things up I’ve walked away from.
You see, 2015 and 2016 have been by FAR the worst years I have lived through. And not just the “I got a bad haircut” or “my eyebrows were over tweezed” bad, but the “I’m not sure what portal from hell I’ve stumbled into and how much worse can this get” kind of bad.
2017 was a turnaround year for me and my family, but things didn’t get “good” until June. So really, it’s only been six months. However, during the really dry and hard seasons I had laid things down I was never meant to lay down. Like being a pastor. I remember the conversation I had when I stepped down from this particular role and the words, “I don’t think I am even called to be a pastor” came out of my mouth. I laid it down and I walked away because it hurt too much to keep fighting a nonstop battle. I will say with all honesty, I let the enemy win that round.
As I sat in bed angry and confused about this word “uncomfortable”, God said, I want you to pick up it up again, it wasn’t yours to lay down. You know what? Picking that up again makes me uncomfortable. It makes me anxious because, what will people think? What if I fail? What if I’m not….but nonetheless, God got me through a never ending valley season, He will get me through being a pastor again.
I had become stingy with my time over the last three years because I never drew boundaries before, so I felt taken advantage of. I have become accustomed to holding my “free” time really close to my chest, but God is asking me to get uncomfortable and open up my calendar again to those hurting around me.
The Lord has revealed to me that I have “control issues” which isn’t a shocker to me, but it’s time I deal with it. So, I have decided in 2018 I am going to force myself into situations where I have no control and to release control when I don’t need to have it (within reason. I’m not going to be playing with lions or anything).
And God also highlighted my focus (or lack thereof). I have roughly a billion dreams and goals running through my mind at any given time, however I don’t feel like I am giving my best to any one thing. This will require me to be mindful of my self-control, what I am spending my time on and saying “no” to things which are time, dream and joy stealers. I can lean towards being a people pleaser, so saying “no” is something that doesn’t come easy for me. This year I want to maximize everything God is calling me to do and it will require me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
The thing that will make me the most uncomfortable? Staying consistent. Waking up everyday and reminding myself to live with intention, not just allowing my day to happen to me, but look with God’s eyes, act with God’s heart and speak with God’s words. James 1:22-25 in the Message version is such a great foundation for this.
“Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.
But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.”
So I want to encourage you to find the word God may want you to stand on, open your heart to hear His direction and boldly go. And if you find a bracelet or t shirt that says “uncomfortable” on it let me know!
**If you would like to join me in doing the things you have always wanted to do, I have created a challenge called “relentless” that comes with a free PDF and I have started a Facebook group as well so we can encourage and inspire one another to really tackle this year. You can get the PDF here and join the Facebook group here
Raema Mauriello
Style Speaks V: Dare to Dream
Interactive Conference
Lounge Sessions - Pop Up Shops - Fashion Show
Presented by Created Woman & Events Unleashed
Dare to to pursue your dreams, live faithfully and overcome your fears at every stage of life at Style Speaks V: Dare to Dream fashion show and interactive conference presented by Created Woman 02.17.18.
Dare to to pursue your dreams, live faithfully and overcome your fears at every stage of life at Style Speaks V: Dare to Dream fashion show and interactive conference presented by Created Woman 02.17.18.