I heard that hymn as a girl growing up in church but never did it really mean anything to me until the last few years.

My soul is that part of me that stays still and at peace when everything else around me is in chaos, or out of my control or just plain busy with life. But in the midst of the busyness, is it well with my soul?

Yes, it is. Today it is. Yesterday it was. Tomorrow it will be.

But it hasn’t always been that way. You see, I like things now. Do it on my timeline. Fast like a drive through and pick it up at the window for immediate satisfaction. And for the most part, things have happened like that for me. I’ve had lots of favor. Not by chance so much but because honestly I’ve prayed for favor over myself speaking Luke 2:52:.

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.

I mean, if Jesus had to grow in favor with God and man and didn’t automatically have it, why should I automatically have it? So I prayed for it. All the time.

But to be honest, I haven’t felt like I’ve had much favor the past few years. Maybe I’m being selfish but if I made the promise to be transparent by opening up in my journals, then that means I have to let you see my selfishness and all the ugliness that penetrate my thoughts. I just have to believe I’m not alone in this big online world…so maybe let me know. Okay?

Nothing can explain it better than a quote I read this past week in Draw The Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge: “Too often we pray ASAP prayers – as soon as possible. We need to start praying ALAT prayer – as long as it takes. “

When I read that I couldn’t help but to think, “Yes, I do want ASAP.” I don’t want to pray ALAT because it’s already taken too long! How much longer can it take? If I have favor, pray for favor, seek wisdom and counsel, shouldn’t my prayers be ASAP?

I’ve looked for that scripture…it doesn’t exist (Frown face, violins playing).

So why do we get such big visions for our lives if they don’t happen right now? Our vision not just for ourselves but for those around us as well (if not, they should be just FYI). If you’re reading this blog which is hosted on our Created Woman website, then you probably know who we are as a foundation, an organization and ministry. You’ve met me, the team, come to one of our events or have just hung out with us online. So you know, at least a little bit, of the vision of CW. And I have to tell you, as passionate as I am about CW there are those moments when I’m just as frustrated.

Working – believing – breaking through – taking steps back – moving forward – resting – wondering.

The seasons rotate almost every day. It’s been five years of wonder, bliss, heartbreak and rejoicing hearing your stories, praying for and with you, and laughing a whole lot over our fashion faux pas.

So when the New Year rolled around, like most of you, I sat down to ask, “What’s this year?” It’s my 40^th year on earth – yep, I told you my age – and I am super excited about this decade. I felt like the 30’s were my building decade – marriage, having babies, transitioning jobs and trying to figure out who we were as a family of four (that’s ongoing). So this decade, I would love those ALAT prayers to now become ASAP prayers.

But this is the revelation I got. “What’s in your hand?” What that meant was, “What gifts have I given you and are you using them?” So I opened my journal and wrote out the gifts God has given me based on a test I took this year, Spiritual Gift Test. My top three gifts are as follows in this order:

• Leadership – Discernment – Faith

Paired with the one of the two words God has given me for the year, intentional, this is what I came up with.

• Leadership:
  • Be intentional about leading the CW Family. This is an area I was challenged on at the end of last year. As the leader, I’m responsible to share the vision, empower them, and lead them in a deeper relationship with The Lord (as per definition below).
    • Definition of Leadership: Care for God’s people and lead them into deeper relationship with Christ and each other.
• Discernment:
  • Be intentional about stopping and listening. I can’t discern if I don’t stop, watch, and listen. Ask and discern where God is leading me personally, with my family, and within our organization.
    • Definition of Discernment: to clearly recognize and distinguish between what is God and not of Him.
•  Faith:
  • Be intentional about believing that if God said “Go” that it will happen in His perfect timing. Trust Him in all things; not just when things look good, I have favor, or happen on my timeline. But in all things.
  • Be intentional about building others up in their faith through my words, actions, and what I speak.
    • Definition of faith: build up the church in her confidence in God.

So there it is. I have to run the race set before me with the gifts God has specifically given me, not what He’s given to others. Because, like I’ve confessed before, I’m good at getting things done. Administration was not too far behind faith and when I get to check something off my to-do list it makes me wave my arms wide open and sing the Frozen song. But did I lead anyone by doing that? Maybe. Maybe not.

So whether my prayers this year happen ASAP or ALAT, I’m determined that I will be intentional about pursuing the gifts that I’ve been given and that is Well With My Soul.

Journal Entry #3√

XO,

Heather

P.S. Take the test and if you dare, share with us in the comments below how you will use them this year. Let’s be intentional about 2016 to use what we’ve been given.

Spiritual Gift Test Adults

[title subtitle="Previous Journal Entries"][/title]

#1 What Was It All For?

#2 Fancy Writing & Gold Letters