Does Anybody Really Care?
Where to find the people who will love you in spite of yourself
“Would just one person copy and paste? I know no one will…”
“I am so tired of everyone letting me down!”
“I will know who my friends are if they repost this message.”
“I guess there’s no such thing as a guy who will treat me with respect.”
“I am so lonely, and no one cares about me.”
I have seen this all over social media- the people who have deep needs and hurts just blanketing cyberspace with desperate pleas. Since I want to be the person who reflects the love of the Savior to people living in pain and isolation, I am going to try super hard to be nice about this. So, I’m going to say the thing you need to hear most:
STOP IT. You are correct. Almost no one cares. If you want relief from the pain of loneliness, and healing in your relationships, you must find the true path. In fact, the collective “them” of cyberspace cannot hold your pain for you. Everyone in the social media neighborhood is doing what they can to keep their own struggles at arm’s length, so when you come out the gate showering people with a steady stream of angst it only serves to passive-aggressively shame them. It actually makes people angry and pushes them away.
The personal connection and deep relationships you seek are not available on Facebook. They are available to you when you lay aside expectations of others to perform for you and acknowledge that the life you see on social media is not all there is. Aspirational relationships form between people who have a firm grasp on their identity in Christ and are doing their own work to heal from the unfairness that life bestows on us all.
There is a savior who loves you desperately and passionately, and His greatest desire for you is unity with Him, and in the body of believers. There is a place where you belong, where you will be loved and upheld by people right here on this earth, but there are sacrifices and a journey required in this quest.
First leg of the journey to whole relationships: know yourself. Jesus will reveal to you your purposes and sacred callings when you can tell Him- with accuracy- who He is. Your unique and precious contribution to the world unfolds as you delve into His character and wisdom through His word.
Second leg of the journey: sacrificial love. This is a holy calling, and not one to be done shot-gun style all over anyone crossing your path. The Holy Spirit will lead you in truth to the places you should be, amongst the people who will be yours. Then, when you cry out in pain, there will be a people who are called to action on your behalf, because you have shared a life with them in service.
There is a guarantee in this life that you will have loneliness, sorrow, troubles, and pain. Only in Christ will you have the deepest sense of fulfilled longing, and sustaining peace that will give you the ability to help others on the path to healing. In this way, the authentic relationships you long for will develop over time into the life-affirming friendships we all need.
Reflection
Do you feel you are alone in your struggle for meaningful relationships? Where do you feel this most acutely?
What do you know about Jesus’ character? Why would such a man die for you?
What does your vision of love and acceptance look like? Is it something you think you can provide to others?
Goals
What are three things you can start using today to discover the character of Christ?
Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. 5 Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. 6 Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. 7 Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. (I Cor. 13:4-7)