Woman, Know Thyself
Stay on Track With a Little Knowledge
When conflict arises, rather than leading to humility and renewed commitment to understanding and unity, it often leads to judgment, anger, humiliation, or confusion. Walking around with this baggage makes it very hard to enjoy the relationships we do have, right in front of us. Fear of experiencing more pain keeps us from really leaning in to all our relationships, especially with God.
Healthy relationships begin in one place: your head.
You must know how you were created, your intrinsic character that determines how you interact with the world, before you can navigate it with success. Personality types are a thing, y’all.
As I learned about myself through personality and character tests an employer offered, I found out that I am driven by a need to be with others, hate being trapped in routine, and need constant stimulation from changing environments and new, diverse tasks. I need autonomy, and struggle with authority if it affects my personal freedom. If I thought for one minute these characteristics would not offend some people, I would be dead wrong.
I could easily lose sight of healthy boundaries, engage in distracting tasks as I dissolve into people-pleasing behaviors, or exhaust myself in an effort to get everyone to accept these things about me. The fact that they don’t have to causes me to feel devalued.
Instead of trying to change the things about myself that cannot be changed, I need to submit them with humility to the Holy Spirit to see how they may best be used, and how to craft my responses to others based on how they likely perceive my free-spirited personality. These traits can be wonderful, but also threatening to some. I need to have an understating of what I need to do to be obedient to the Lord when He calls us to unity.
Conversely, I need to understand the innate responses that other personality types have are not meant to be disrespectful or judgmental, it’s just the way they were born to relate to the world. Case in point, my husband is quiet, solitary, analytical, and loves structure. His need to have rules is not an indictment of who I am, it’s just who he is.
The most important character I need to study in order to know myself is to know the character and passions of God. He responds to me as He created me, and He loves seeing His creation propelled forward with all the characteristics He designed for me to have. His responses will include joy, discipline, correction, amusement, delight, and grief for what causes me pain. It is only right that in the light of the Lord’s responses to us, that we strive to respond to others with the same understanding and posture of forgiveness and humility.
Healthy relationships are a joy and bring meaning and support to our lives.
Reflection
What traits about yourself do you think are your greatest strengths?
What types of responses from others do you find it hardest to deal with?
Where can you improve your understanding in order to have more healthy relationships?
We can all draw close to him with the veil removed from our faces. And with no veil we all become like mirrors who brightly reflect the glory of the Lord Jesus. We are being transfigured into his very image as we move from one brighter level of glory to another. (2 Corinthians 3:18 TPT)
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