Why You Can’t Go to the Office Party in Sweatpants
Showing up is hard to do!
I love the Christmas party season until I actually have to get dressed and show up for it. The idea of it when I put it on the calendar seems like a sparkly evening amongst adults where I will likely have a new dress and shoes and laugh charmingly while intelligent people make meaningful conversation… until I remember people will be there, and reality sets in.
Most likely it is an office party, or some obligation where your spouse or significant other has made you promise not to leave them alone with the irritating or oppressive sorts they see on a daily basis. The upcoming date on the calendar begins to spark the tiny hope that you come down with something a few days before, because now the idea wedging dress shopping into your already stressfully crammed holiday schedule and budget is rapidly becoming, well… not worth it.
My husband and I have developed a pre-soiree game plan. As we are dressing and preparing to leave, we negotiate things for my very introverted husband. It is easier for him to manage his discomfort when we have sworn our allegiance to each other and have a pre-determined exit plan. For myself, I rehearse the scriptures that keep me from becoming mired in perfectionism and self-criticism when I look in the mirror. Still… we show up. We show up for each other, and we make a plan for showing up well.
Why? Why not just say no and sit home in our sweats? My finger actually hovered for a moment over the “Purchase Now” button for a sweatshirt that said, “Sorry I’m Late… I Didn’t Want to Come.” I was going to post a picture of me in it ironically on Instagram.
I’ll tell you why we go. We are showing up for each other. Not just for each other, but for all the others who will be there. If we can’t join together for free food and a few hours of more intimate conversation, when can we ever? It’s the social moments that forge the bonds that are tested in adversity, and if you want to show up and do well in the hard times, then try first showing up for the easy things.
Supporting each other in something as simple as a party shows your coworkers, superiors, and significant others that you can be trusted to voluntarily support them even when you are uncomfortable, stressed, broke, or tired. Showing up well, in a nice outfit appropriate to the occasion, further signals your support for those around you who are also likely insecure, stressed, and tired.
As a boss who has thrown a party, I can tell you I was just as anxious for people to come and have a good time as I was when I threw my first big-girl party at thirteen. The employees who showed up and boosted morale became my favorite people to work with. I was equally drawn to those who showed up fearfully, out of obligation, for whom I know it was not an easy decision to come. I was inspired by their courage to enter into more authentic community, even when everything in them was screaming to do the opposite.
Showing up well doesn’t have to mean a very expensive outfit. It means showing up with an open demeanor, a posture of support, and a face full of encouragement for those who find it difficult to gather. After all, how can we be the hands and feet of Christ if we aren’t there? I have watched my amazing introvert husband overcome his discomfort to be an ambassador of Jesus when coworkers reveal their insecurities in a relaxed setting. Really, if you think about it, God is our boss and He is throwing this party called life, and every day is a decision to show up well.
So do it. Show up. Show up well. Maybe even get a new outfit out of the deal. Merry Christmas, Created Woman!
Reflection
What specific needs or wants do you have when you are in stressful social situations?
What are some actions you can take to address those needs for others?
What are your expectations for parties and holidays? Do they need adjusting?
Goals
What three things can you do to prepare yourself before going to social gatherings?
Whoever has the gift of comforting others should do that. Whoever has the gift of giving to help others should give generously. Whoever has the gift of leading should work hard at it. Whoever has the gift of showing kindness to others should do it gladly. (Romans 12:8 ERV)