Identity Theft
Confessions of a Perpetual People Pleaser
The crime: Identify Theft.
The perpetrator: Me.
Identity Theft has become one of the most common crimes amongst Americans today, and it happens so quickly that the victim rarely sees it coming. In fact, I can vividly remember my husband calling me a few years ago and asking if I had wired $400 to someone in Montana. My answer - uh, no?! What?
In the same fashion, our very own strengths and weaknesses can swoop in inadvertently and take over the identity that Christ intended for us. Unfortunately, the embezzlement of one’s identity by one’s own self happens far more often than not.
Let’s take a look at me. My strength is that I am nice – no doubt. That’s who I think I am. I am a nice person. However, my weakness – well, it’s that I am nice. I have spent my whole entire adult life trying to please everyone around me. Because I have deemed myself the “President of Positivity”, I feel it’s my job to make sure no one is ever sad, mad, offended, left out, or angry. I want everyone to see the good in everyone else and just be nice. And when that doesn’t happen I take it personally. I get very down on myself because I feel like I have in some way failed at my job.
After years of endless exhaustion and feelings of failure, I finally came to a realization – God is the only one that truly can make people happy. Not me. Not you. Not money or fame or houses or cars. And guess what? I’m not God (and everyone said Amen). That revelation took a whole lot of weight off of this people pleaser’s shoulders.
My identity is not The One That Makes Everyone Happy. I can direct people to The One. I can let His fruit shine through my own life. I can pray. I can be kind and gentle and loyal. I can speak the truth in love, but I do not need to (nor can I) make everyone happy. When my focus is on pleasing people, then my focus is not pleasing to God, because I am denying the true satisfaction and power of following His will.
God didn’t create me to carry the weight of the world – that’s His job. He created me for purpose and passion; to disciple and to dream and to equip and encourage other women that are facing the same issues that I am.
Dear Created Woman, your identity is in Christ. You, too, are His daughter. He is ready for you to step up and step out for Him. So, adjust your crown and get moving.
Reflection
1. What identity have you taken on as you’ve become an adult?
2. Is your focus on pleasing people or God?
3. Is there something in your past that you believe has caused you to crave the approval of the people around you?
Goals
What steps can you take today and in the future to secure your true identity in Christ?
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10 NIV)