How to Find Your Voice, Not Someone Else’s
I had this friend whose voice was always in my head. Healthy, right? Their opinions were guiding my daily decisions and slowly chipping away my confidence one layer at a time. “I wouldn’t wear that outfit, don’t let your baby fall asleep in the swing, you’re fighting with your husband about money again!” It was like a leaky faucet that could not be fixed. I didn’t have the courage to say anything to contradict the voice because my identity was wrapped around the thoughts of others, being liked, people’s opinions and what they thought of me. I wanted it, I craved it; I wanted it more than the things of God. In return, I lost my voice and purpose by seeking the approval of others, and created this unhealthy habit of people over God.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of God.” Galatians 1:10 (NIV)
I knew I needed to find my voice again in order to be in a healthier and happier headspace to fulfill the purpose God had for my life. The following are healthy practices and new rhythms I learned in the process, as well as questions you might ask yourself if you are caught in the spiral of approval.
#1 – What are you good at?
What if we stopped trying to be perfect and just started being us? What if we allowed ourselves to show up broken, imperfect, and say, “This is me and it’s good enough!” Thoughts of comparison devour all sense of belonging and acceptance. The world needs you, not a copy of your friend or your favorite Instagram account. Take the pressure off and simply be the one version of you.
#2 – What needs can you serve today?
Vulnerability reveals the mess as it is right now and invites others in. We get stuck in the habit of keeping to ourselves scrolling through social media because sometimes it’s easier that way. Your willingness to be open in front of others serves those who are hurting too. Being part of a community is where change and growth take place. Make the place where you gather with your people a place where you can talk about subjects otherwise avoided. You and they are not alone.
#3 – What do you love doing?
Write these words down on a sticky note, display them where you’ll see them most, and repeat daily – I am strong. I am wise. I am able. The enemy of taking action is the belief of someday. Thinking about purpose instead of doing the purpose cripples you from moving forward and doing what you love most, thus allowing fear, doubt, and insecurity to occupy your thought life and quieting your voice. Your voice is the most important thing about you. Use it.
#4 – What is life asking of you?
Now more than ever, there are mountains of opportunities for distraction: phones, Netflix, work responsibilities, over-committing to activities…the list goes on. Stop, take a breather, and listen to your life, the one God has been a part of all along. What is it telling you? It’ll guide you to what you’re meant to do with your gifts, passions, abilities, and resources. Trust and don’t discount them and be intentional with the moments of stillness. During that time you will not only find rest, but a nudge to what is next. The world will get loud. Very loud. Every voice that tries to enslave you – be it others or your own – turn up the volume on God’s voice and tune out the other voices that you’re allowing to speak louder.
Reflection
In what areas of your life have you allowed your voice to stay small?
List other unhealthy habits – physically, spiritually, emotionally – you’ve allowed to take shape.
Create a set of action steps on how you will implement healthy rhythms in your life.
Goals
What are three goals you can set based on today’s devotion to begin creating a healthy thought life and new daily rhythms that will help blossom your voice:
I“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of God.” (Galatians 1:10 NIV)