Has Your Upbringing Influenced Your Fashion Style?

My daughter’s twelfth birthday was coming up, and having just moved to a new town, I wanted to have a special party for her.

She suggested a slumber party with five girls, so I agreed. As you might suspect, it was a wild night with six junior high school girls. I well remember they did not succumb to sleep until 5 A.M. I really didn’t mind, because I knew that the new kid in school had now made a connection, and possibly made friends for life.

However, the delight of the night was short-lived for me when one of the mothers picked up her daughter later in the morning. As we talked out of hearing range from the girls, she smiled and told me what her daughter and her friend had really wanted to give my daughter for a birthday present. 

“They wanted to pool their money together and buy her a pair of Guess jeans, because they felt so sorry for her being the only girl in the 6th grade who didn’t have a pair,” she said.

We both laughed at their intentions, but I have to admit that I felt like a cheap scape for refusing to buy designer jeans for my child. My conservative ways of saving money had brought shame to her from her peers.

Yes, my daughter and I had clashed about my refusal to buy the stylish jeans, but it wasn’t the first time we had clashed about her fashion attire.

It actually started when she was two-years-old, and she refused to wear the Easter bonnet I had bought for her to wear with her Winnie the Pooh dress.

In fact, over the years, fashion continued to be a battleground for us.

·      She liked red; I hated it.

·      She liked to dress up; I preferred casual.

·      She liked to wear full makeup; I wore very little.

·      She liked to wear name brands; I go for the cheapest.

·      She liked jewelry; I don’t.

But, as the clashes continued almost on a daily basis, I finally had to ask myself the question, “Is this about money, or is it me trying to win the power struggle between my likes and her likes?”

Oh sure, I knew that Psalm 139 pointed out how fearfully and wonderfully each of us are made, how He designed us for a purpose, and how we are each unique.

But, I was sure that had to do with our gifts and our purpose in life. I was quite sure it didn’t have anything to do with fashion preferences, particularly that of a child.

My light bulb moment came one day as I was reading from Galatians. “Don’t compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours.” (Galatians 6:4-5 ERV). 

Though those verses were instructing us not to compare our works for the Lord with others, the word compare stood out to me in regard to the fashion battles my daughter and I had had since she was two-years-old. A little soul searching was in order.

Could I have been comparing my likes or dislikes in fashion with her? Should I have given her a choice in what she wore? Could it be that God’s fashion design for my daughter was different than mine?

Could I have been the one causing all the tension?

Mea culpa!

Reflection

1. Did anything from your childhood influence the way you dress or shop as an adult? Have you made changes in fashion according to your own likes and dislikes?

2. How much freedom do you feel a young child have in choosing their fashion design?

3. How does Psalm 139:13-14 relate to you in regard to fashion?

Goals

List three goals you can set based on today’s devotion to begin taking charge of your fashion according to the way God designed you.

Don’t compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours. (Galatians 6:4-5 ERV)

Martha Bush

Kendra Gives Back Party!
Thursday, December 12th, 6-8pm
The Domain