Where do the God Girls Go to Hideaway?

Created to be seen & known

Allowing myself to be seen and known in relationships has been one of my life’s biggest struggles. In every type of relationship, it’s been hard for me to be completely honest and open. The kind of visceral anxiety I would experience in my body when I tried to dive into the deep knowingness with another, is what put me in the office of my new counselor.

To be honest, my hiding was so bad that I would rarely ever even tell someone I didn’t like something, and just grin and bear whatever was offered to me. I kept so much of my thoughts and heart to myself. I didn’t even feel safe enough to tell someone not to put beans on my plate. I hate beans! Why was this so hard?

I sought out a counselor to help me with this burden, and one day she asked me, “What was the first memory you have of your life and childhood?” I sat and listened to her question as I thought about what I remembered about some of my earliest experiences in childhood.

The memories cascaded into my mind like a flood.

I suddenly remembered so vividly.

I can remember being around 4 or 5 years old, hiding away in a hallway closet amongst sleeping bags and extra blankets. I remember how comfortable and slightly mischievous it felt to be so snuggled up and mysteriously tucked away with no one knowing where I was. As a child I recall this being a place of peace; and who knows how long I would hideaway in that closet left unseen and unsought.  

I think it’s interesting and worth noting that in the Bible, after sin enters into God’s perfectly created world, the first thing humans want to do is hide (Genesis 3:8). They hide their bodies, and they hide from God. This really stood out to me in my morning reading time several years ago. Since then, my experiences with not only the Lord, but in my close relationships, has taught me that the solution to the urge to hide is to be covered by God in our vulnerability. We don’t need to hide if we’re covered.  

Another first memory I have as a child, is being held by my father after he returned from being in the military overseas. I remember searching the crowds for him and knowing that I would recognize him as soon as I saw his face. As he held me in his arms, I felt pure joy. His presence and scruffy face made me feel so incredibly safe and at peace. This moment is one of my favorite memories. Through this image, the Lord has revealed to me that as long as I am in His presence with my heart safely nuzzled inside of Him, I am safe in any space or relationship. I am free to be myself whether someone chooses to embrace me or not, because I’m already covered and embraced by Christ. It is in this freedom that I’m able to let my loved ones know me. It’s in this security I can safely say, “Hey, actually, I would prefer not to have a side of beans, please.”

1. Do you feel seen and known by God?
   

2. Do you feel like you can be open and honest with God about your heart? Why or why not?
   

3. What is a verse in the Bible that makes you feel safe and covered by God?

The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.
 (Genesis 3:21 NIV)

Faith has immersed you into Christ, and now you are covered and clothed with His life.

(Galatians 3:27 TPT)

Alex Parsons

Elevate Your Style
Empower Your Soul

EQUIP & EMPOWER

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